White Sox Dave survives Cleveland, then Anthony Rizzo

The road trip started with a rest-stop review, and by early afternoon Dave and the Tate family were in a downtown Cleveland parking lot getting turned away from their lucky spot.

whitesoxdave

@barstoolWSD

Developing situation in Cleveland: The parking attendant WILL NOT allow the Tate family to park in the lucky parking spot They offered her a treasure chest worth of bribes, to which she said “my dignity has no price” Classy move from the classy people of Cleveland

That was the only thing Cleveland refused to give him all day. Dave was in a bar a few hours before first pitch, and the Guardians fans kept bringing him shots. Tate's pleas for them to stop were obviously not serious. The real joke was that Dave can't say no to a free shot, and somebody in the bar decided it was his birthday (kinda).

Ohio’s Tate

@OhioTate

Cleveland Fans: I truly implore you to stop coming up to White Sox Dave with shots!!! He is unable to say no It is still 3 hours until 1st pitch and he is getting bullied left and right with these shots He needs to be focused for the game!!!

Ohio’s Tate

@OhioTate

Cleveland Fans: STOP BUYING WHITE SOX DAVE SHOTS!!!! He doesn’t want to drink too much tonight (but he is awful at turning down shots) #2 t.co/e2oy61DYSM

By Tate's count it was 6 or 7 shots before anyone sat down, all of them bought by the home crowd. Then came the game itself, a winner-take-all Game 5 between 2 teams that had traded punches all week. Cleveland had dropped the first 2 games of the series, so the Guardians were 1 win from finishing a comeback from 0-2 down.

Sean Burke gave the Sox a real chance early. Burke pitching in black cleats with no runs on the board has become a Barstool Chicago bit, and the 'celibate' part of it is part of the bit too.

Barstool Chicago

@barstoolchicago

-Black Air Force 1 cleats -No family, no kids, no girl - Nails whenever the Sox needed him -Celibate Sean Burke’s 2026 postseason will be remembered.

Then Gavin Williams took over. Williams struck out 12 in 5⅔ scoreless innings and allowed 1 hit, which tied Charles Nagy's franchise record for strikeouts in a postseason game. José Ramírez hit a 2-run homer, and that was all the scoring Cleveland needed. The Guardians won 2-0, staff piled up 21 strikeouts, the most ever in a winner-take-all postseason game, and moved on to an ALCS date with the Rays. Dave watched the whole thing from the seats and admitted on the timeline that the Sox were late on everything.

Cleveland was shaking and Tate was hugging his parents in the stands. Dave got Chinese food and paced around his hotel room, and around 1:40 a.m. he posted something nobody expected from a guy who'd been mainlining green tea shots: a gracious one.

whitesoxdave

@barstoolWSD

I have consumed Chinese food and paced it out in my hotel room. Tonight obviously stunk and was a weird way to go out. But it was a ton of fun at the park thanks to the Sox. They were outstanding and kept us idiots engaged all summer Going to bed

Before he drove home the next morning he went further and took Cleveland off his drive-through-and-don't-stop list. The Guardians weren't done twisting the knife, though. Tate posted that Williams had checked in on Dave, which Tate called sportsmanship after 'shoving 12 strikeouts down his throat.'

Ohio’s Tate

@OhioTate

Classy move from Gavin Williams to check in on White Sox Dave after shoving 12 strikeouts down his throat “One man practicing good sportsmanship is far better than 100 teaching it” - Knute Rockne All class from the Big Rig!

On Monday morning Portnoy weighed in. Wake Up Barstool put Williams in Meek's 'Stock Up' with an Instagram DM asking 'How's white Sox Dave doing rn,' and Dave in Portnoy's 'Stock Down' for refusing to name names after the loss.

Viva La Stool

@VivaLaStool

“White Sox Dave has no relevance here 364 days a year. Like you have relevance for one day when the team is eliminated, you have a dark video, you say I’m not gonna name names, what are you talking about?!” -@stoolpresidente rips WSD a new asshole for not naming names

Viva La Stool

@VivaLaStool

Post game, post season recap from White Sox Dave in Cleveland t.co/TH71flJrEY

It got worse from there. The Bears had a bad weekend of their own, and on The Dog Walk Dave got exposed for tucking his ears into his hat at the Northwestern game, which is a whole separate humiliation.

The Dog Walk

@DogWalkBarstool

WSD got caught tucking his ears into his hat at the Northwestern game Presented by @thefarmersdog

The biggest hit came on his own show. Anthony Rizzo was on The Stretch. All October he'd been telling Cubs fans to get behind the White Sox, and he's said before that any Sox fan who couldn't enjoy the 2016 Cubs was a miserable person. He said it to Dave's face, and Dave just took it.

Dave is still insisting he won the argument. Meanwhile the Guardians and Williams are off to the ALCS against the Rays, and Dave has a full winter ahead of hearing how his trip ended. The good news is that Cleveland, a city he couldn't stand a week ago, says he's welcome back. Just don't buy him a shot.